(originally published on Vagobond.com by @vagobond)
Q: Who or what is Bald Jesus?
A: There is no single answer to that. It’s easy to tell you who or what Bald Jesus isn’t. I’m not Bald Jesus. Anyone who claims to be Bald Jesus isn’t. Bald Jesus is best thought of as ‘your bro’. A force for good that always has your back and won’t let you down or leave you hanging. Bald Jesus can wear whatever shape, face, form, gender, or avatar you feel most comfortable with.
Q: Where did Bald Jesus come from?
A: No one knows. In ancient Serbia there are cave paintings of Bald Jesus (the OG). In modern times Bald Jesus (aka BJ) showed up in the online NFT space via me. I had the domain name. I don’t remember when or why I bought it, it simply happened and then BaldJesus.com was there when I was looking for an NFT project to build. Everyone told me it was a horrible and offensive idea that would never catch on. I agreed – but I could not stop myself from creating everything that has flowed forth from me. I’m as much a witness to the birth of BJ as anyone. Like Gershwin’s Rhapsody in Blue or Einstein’s Relativity Theory – Bald Jesus burst forth from me as an almost fully formed idea and figure.
Q: What is Bald Jesusism and where did these teachings come from?
A: Bald Jesusism is the philosophical and teleological practice of living as given forth by Bald Jesus. It all stems from his primary commandment aka BJ Rule #1 which is “Don’t be a Dick!” The Holy Bjble is the holy book of Bald Jesusism and was revealed to me in its initial form November of 2021. BJBLE is an acronym that stands for Bald Jesus Bible Living Edition. The Living Edition part is extremely important because it indicates that this is not a static document or doctrine – it is living and will evolve over time as other important revelations and ideas are revealed. The Holy Bjble is made up of two books blended together – the sacred writings and the BJble stories. The sacred writings are broken up into blocks – just like a blockchain which are derived from other texts, ideas, and philosophies. The BJble stories are parables about BJ and his life.
Q: Who is Vagobond and why was he chosen as the first messenger?
A: I’m Vagobond and I really have no idea why I was chosen. I’m not some holy figure or guru, I’m just some dude. If I’m to guess why I was chosen for this it would be because I was open to it, I generally don’t cave to societal pressure (like don’t start a new religion or everyone will think you are a nut job), and in my odd life I’ve been exposed to enough ideas and philosophies that it was possible for me to channel this ancient wisdom from the ether to the page. I’m no icon of virtue, that’s for sure and no one should choose me as any kind of role model. Still, I’m cool with it and I’m happy to be the test subject to see if Bald Jesusism can bring joy, contentment, satisfaction, or happiness to the masses because I’d like to have those things and I’d like to share them as well.
Q: What is the Doctrine and Practice of Bald Jesusism?
A: Bald Jesusism can be summarized into what is called the TLDR (Too Long, Don’t Read) Block. The entire doctrine can be summarized into the 10th commandment: Don’t be a dick.
The Practice of Bald Jesusism
1. Bald Jesus is Your Bro. Nothing more, nothing less. Bald Jesus is the Bro of everyone! Share this message!
2. Stop doing things you know are bad.
3. Start doing things you know are good.
4. Help others to stop doing bad things and start doing good things.
5. Make Art! Everyday. A smiley face with a halo = Bald Jesus! Build networks, write code, transact on-chain. Create!
6. Walk every day. Look for natural patterns. Meditate. Fast. Stretch.
7. Visit Hawai`i- at least once, if you can.
8. Learn about decentralized networks and immutable blockchains. Share knowledge about decentralization and blockchain. Learn, create, and educate about the power of non-fungible tokens
9. Cooperate, collab, and connect with believers. Be present. IRL-OL-MV.
10. Most importantly – Don’t Be A Dick!
Q: Why is making art a part of Bald Jesusism?
A: Art (defined as any creative endeavor from sketching to building to the practice of any craft) bridges the gap between the worlds of vocabulary and the worlds of emotion and allows humans to touch the divine.
Q: Why is Hawai’i a part of Bald Jesusism?
A: Hawai’i is the center of the world and home to concepts that can liberate humankind. The world needs aloha (compassionate love and understanding).
Q: Why are crypto/blockchain/defi/NFTs a part Bald Jesusism?
A: These technologies offer humankind a path towards leaving behind instinctual behaviors like hoarding, using domination and oppressive control systems, and exploitation of the weak or powerless by the powerful. While there is much wrong with these technologies as they currently exist – they offer the beginning of a path to liberation for all. Bald Jesusism is the first and only true Metaverse Religion or MetaReligion.
Q: How do practitioners worship or join fellowship in Bald Jesusism?
A: Worship in Bald Jesusism consists in creating, learning, and sharing the message of Bald Jesusism in the three realms: IRL (in ‘real’ life), OL (online), and in the MV (Metaverse). Followers are worshipping whenever they engage in creative ventures or share the message of Bald Jesus. When two followers meet and share time together, they are considered to have ‘churched’.
Q: Do followers of Bald Jesus worship Bald Jesus?
A: No. BJs don’t worship anyone, they worship creation and celebrate helping others stop doing bad things and start doing good things.
Q: How do BJs pray? Do they pray?
A: Praying in Bald Jesusism is as simple as having a mental conversation with your bro, BJ. You can ask him questions and he will give you answers which are usually a variation of ‘Don’t be a dick!’ ‘Do good things’ ‘Stop doing bad things’ ‘Help other people stop doing bad things and start doing good things’ or even ‘take a walk’. These answers usually have what you need in them.
Q: It doesn’t sound serious with talking animals (the Sacred A$$, the Holy Goat, the Mystic Ape) and the silly cryptospeak thrown in (GM, WAGMI, LFG, etc) Is this all a joke?
A: Bald Jesusism is the furthest thing from a joke and while we know a big boat filled with two of every animal on the planet, people coming back from the dead, ‘miracles’ like walking on water or faith healing, places called Heaven (where everyone who ever lived is reborn – if they were good) or Hell (where all the baddies go) would make this sound like a more serious and believable philosophy – none of those things exist in Bald Jesusism – but, they could if you want them to.